My Story

I thought I'd start by adding my story.  As I get older, I realize how important a person's story is.  What led them to this place in their life.  What makes them who they are.  And most importantly, how God is using their story and past.

I fear I would lose some of you if I gave every last detail of my childhood, so here is the readers digest version.  My parents divorced when I was 7 and ultimately both remarried. I spent the majority of my childhood and adolescent years attempting to have a close relationship with my father that never seemed to live up to the picture I had in my head.  You see, there was a picture of what my life was supposed to look like.  At the age of 18 if you had asked me it would have gone something like this: Finish high school, go to college, get my Master's, start a career, meet a wonderful Christian man, get married, start a family and be wildly successful at both work and home.  All the pieces of the picture were in perfect order and it seemed like a great picture.  The only problem was that it was MY picture.

In college I met my husband, Ben.  I guess that was when I first realized God had another picture in mind.  We did finish our degrees before getting married, and I did apply to and start graduate school.  It was slightly out of order, but I just rearranged a few things and was back on track.  Then, about 4 months into my 26 month intensive graduate program I found out we were expecting our first child.

I scrambled to rearrange the picture again.  I had to make the pieces fit. I finished graduate school with the help of my amazing husband.  The pieces were slightly different now, but I was still on track to have the picture I had always had in my head.

Part of that picture was to start a private counseling practice when I completed my M.A. in counseling.  I finished and at this point my picture took a huge hit.  Financially, there was no way for me to quit my job, fund the start up costs of a new practice and ultimately live with little to no income while it got off the ground.  What now? I was frantically shuffling the pieces of my picture to determine my next move when I was given a very clear picture from God.

WAIT

What!?! I am not a good waiter.  I have very little patience and often live by the incredibly insightful saying 'Just Do It'.  I make decisions and then I jump into action.  Waiting seemed like such a foreign concept to me.  But I was in a corner. I had no choice but to wait and no matter how much I tried, the pieces of my picture no longer fit together.

For almost two years I waited, but what I found was that wait is not a passive term.  While I was waiting, God was slowly changing and preparing my heart.  It wasn't over night; it was subtle.  Because God knew the one thing that scared me more than the word 'wait' was 'change'.

In June of 2010 I heard an amazing sermon preached by Pastor Bill Rose where he spoke on gifts in ministry. At the end of that sermon, I knew my time to wait was over and I had to tell someone about the change that was happening inside of me. You see, God had been leading me to get out of my comfort zone; to do something that didn't come easy.  So that day I requested a meeting with my pastor.  I wasn't really sure what would come of it, but if I had learned anything over the past two years it was to not fight it and to go with God's picture.

I am now working for Impact Fellowship Church as the Director of Connections and Family Ministry.  If you had told me two years ago that I would be on staff at a church and home part time with my children I might have laughed.  Yet I am in awe of how much I love this new picture.  You see I believe that God not only gives us the desire of hearts, but He places the desire within us.

My story is not finished and GOD'S picture for my life is still evolving and changing.  That leaves a lot of unknowns.  But what I do know is that I want HIS picture and not my own.

What is your story? Where is God leading you? Do you need to wait? Or is he calling you to action? I'd love to hear your story.